The Latest!

I haven't blogged in a long time, I am not sure if I don't feel like I have anything anyone cares to hear about or if I am so busy that I don't make the time to do it. With my kids having a day off, I am taking the morning off from studying and so I am updating my blog. Here goes:


I have a confession to make. I am a horrible mother! I totally screwed up on Halloween this year! With football, homecoming, school and everything else I never took pictures of all the kids together! We had three trunk or treats we went to, but not one where the whole family was together. Not even one! That was really frustrating to me this year. Which is why I don't have any pictures of all the kids together, but it still bothers me. And then with Halloween actually being on a Sunday, we were so done by the time it actually came around that we had some friends over for dinner and my kids didn't want to dress up again so the only time I had them all together, no one was dressed up! Oh, well. They all had a good time anyway.



This picture is taken before our ward's trunk or treat. Connor was at football practice with Bryan and Jonathan was at a Best Buddies Halloween event so it was just me and these cuties! Kate is Dr. Dufenschmirtz (however you spell that one!!) from Phineas and Ferb, Jenna is a cupcake and Alex is Darth Vader!This is during the school's costume parade. This is the last year that Jenna can do the parade. She is so cute!!

I was getting really worried when Alex's class went by because I couldn't find him at first. Turns out, he was so excited that he went ahead of his teachers and was way in front. This is NOTHING like Alex at school. He is such a shy and quiet boy that I was afraid that he got too scared to even go out in the parade! So I quickly went to the other side where the parade came back around and this is the kid I saw!

He is smiling and High Fiving every kid that walked by! It was adorable! He was so disappointed when the parade ended. I have never seen Alex like this out in public!

Happy Alex=Happy Mom!!

This is where Bryan has been spending all of his time during the week when he is not at work. Because they made the playoffs, practices are now three nights a week so Bryan is never home. He feels strongly that Connor needs him at practice so he goes to every practice and stays the whole time. This has made a huge difference in Connor. I have seen that boy grow into a confident and happy young man. I am so grateful for my husband's sacrifice and example. Connor has confided in me how much it means to him that his dad would do this for him. He is using his dad as his essay he is writing for school as his hero. When I told Bryan that, his face lit up and he knew that his time was well spent.

Anyway, Connor is playing on the Gunslinger's football team and they are doing Awesome! They are now the State Champions!! That has never happened for a Superstition Pop Warner football team before so his team has made history! Yay, Gunslingers! Because of their good record, they were in the Level 2 division which means they continue beyond the State playoff level where other teams will stop at State. So last weekend, they played in a game verses a team from California. This is all in an effort to go to the Pop Warner version of the Superbowl. It is crazy to me that they do this on this level! These kids are 9-11!!! Anyway, in a nail biter of a game, the Gunslinger's won and so now we are off to San Diego this weekend to play in the next round. If we win this game, we will come back to the valley and play another California team in Scottsdale next Sunday. If we win that game, then the team will be off to Florida for the superbowl!

I was really hoping we would win State and then lose before we had to go to San Diego. I know that sounds horrible that I would wish my son's team would lose, but I can't afford these trips! Especially with Christmas coming soon and my husband has already used up his vacation days! Florida is a week! A week!! And they only need the team to raise between $35,000 and $45,000. For real!! And that is just for the team to go! If you know my Connor, he may not survive a week without a parent there and I am in school so I can't go.

Anyway, now that we have gotten this far, it is really a once in a lifetime chance that they can do this and I am so amazed at this group of young men so I say, go for it! Win it all and win big! We will figure out the money later! How many teams get to go to Florida? Not to many that I have ever heard of!

This is Connor doing a pregame drill, he is #72

He is hard to see, but he is in the middle, left

State Champs!!

Connor and his hero, or better known as Dad!

My little Studdmuffin! lol

This past weekend, I went to a wedding in Salt Lake City with my mom and sisters and Jonathan. I loved taking Jon to temple square for the first time. He is such a great kid and it was great feeling of his love of the Savior and his amazing Spirit. He has been wanting to go to BYU after his mission and I have been trying to convince him that it would be cheaper to stay home and go to ASU for his pre-Med. I confess, I just don't want to let him go! After spending time with him up there, we drove through the BYU campus and I guess I got a little spiritual kick in the behind that I needed to let him go if that's what he wants. Why do we have to let them grow up! He will be leaving on his mission in less than 2 years. I am not ready! But, Kate really wants to go to BYU also and if we are lucky and they both get in they would be going at the same time! It's just so far away!!! AHHH! Not my daughter too! lol

Jon, me, my mom, sister JoAnn, sister Jenny, niece Kelsey

My future missionary. So many people were asking him how long he had been home from his mission! Poor kid needs to stop looking so mature, everyone thinks he is an RM at 17! lol

The Waiting List

I am officially on the waiting list! I feel such a sense of accomplishment! I am excited and even a bit humbled to finally get to this point. I also finally took the Hesi A2 test. It was sooo long, yuck! It was tough but not as hard as I thought it would be, so with that out of the way and my fingerprint clearance is back, I was able to put in my application today! Yay! So, they say there is a 3 to 4 semester waiting list now. Bummer!

While I wait, I am going to try to get into a CNA course so I can get some practical experience as well as earn some dough! lol Dough is good. Anyway, there it is.....now I wait!! :)

Nursing School

As many of you know, I have been working on getting into Nursing school for a very long time! Years in fact! There are so many prerequisites that have to be done before you can even apply for the program. These are English 101, some math, reading, Biology, Anatomy 201, Chemistry, Psychology and probably something else I am forgetting! I have been slowly taking these over the years. My plan all along was to wait until all the kids were in school and then start taking classes my self. When things got rough a couple of years ago, I knew I couldn't go slow anymore.

I already have all of my prereq's out of the now and have been taking my coreq's. These are classes that you can take once you have submitted your nursing application and you are on the waiting list. These used to be prereq's and now they are coreq's. I didn't realize that until I had taken most of them as well! Those are the other half of Anatomy 202, more English, another Biology and now Microbiology. Microbiology is my last coreq and I am signed up to take it in the fall.

Since I have all my prereq's out of the way and we are now settled into our house, I am finally getting around to putting in my application for the Nursing program. I was fingerprinted yesterday. That was a slightly strange experience. I had to pay someone to take my prints and then pay DPS to tell me that I am not a criminal. Ok, that part actually will take about 4-6 weeks. That is the main thing holding my up, and my transcripts, and my Hesi 2 test. Ok, so I am almost ready!! I had to go to Mountain View to order those transcripts. That felt so weird! I really hated high school and I sooo don't miss it. It made me feel sorry my son because I remember how difficult it was for me in school. It is hard to get good grades and make positive choices while surrounded by such garbage everyday. I don't think there was ever a time in my life I felt so alone as in high school! I think that is part of the reason why my husband and I found each other so early. We needed each other. Oh well, that is another post for another day!! lol

Anyway, I also have to take a Hesi 2 test to prove basic math, English and reading skills. This test takes 4 hours!! AHHH! Yuck! Other than the time, I am not too worried about it. I will start studying for it next week and take it the week after that. Once that is done, then as soon as I get my fingerprint clearance card back I can apply for the Nursing program and then just wait! and wait! And take Microbiology this semester.

I am excited and nervous about it this semester because it is actually in a classroom instead of online like the rest of the classes I have taken. I am worried about how the labs will be conducted. I have always used a virtual microscope for my labwork. Yeah, I don't think a virtual microscope will be quite the same!! So I am a little nervous about being on my fourth Biology class and having no idea how to actually use a real microscope!! haha, I am going to look like a total idiot!!

I am also nervous to go to a classroom because I am worried I will be in a room with a bunch of teenagers. I am almost old enough to be their mother. Almost being the key word! I know that there will probably be people my age in there, but I am still nervous about it. I don't want to be the only old lady there!

This will be a strange year for me, I am excited at the opportunities for my education but this is the first year that all of my kids will be in school full time. I am not sure I like that. It seems like one step closer to losing them all!! Alex will be in all day kindergarten and he is so little still. He will turn 5 only 3 days after school starts so I am worried about how he will do. And Jonathan is a junior this year, soon he will be graduated and off on a mission. I will miss him like crazy. And Kaitlyn is in junior high this year, it's all freaking me out how old my kids are getting! Tell them to stop!!! :)

My New Motto

I have decided I need a new motto in my life. It actually came from Bryan. He is a very smart and supportive man. I will keep him! ;p I have often struggled in my life when I have challenges and think I can hang on and be strong until it is over and I will enjoy my life when this current problem is over. Well, as my wise husband has pointed out, as soon as one problem is gone, there will be a new one to pop in and take its place. He quoted me this out of the scriptures, now it isn't the most profound scripture to most people, but it was to me: "And it came to pass..." and then he adds and not stay! That is what I have to remember. I will always have challenges and some of them will seem so big that I will wonder how I will ever get through them. But I always do. The real challenge in it all is to try to find happiness and peace for myself in the middle of it all and to share the feelings of peace and love with my husband and children. So that they feel loved and secure even during the most insecure times of our lives, which just so happens to be these last few months!

I have been working on this and usually fail miserably, but I am trying. Last night we were reading in 1 Nephi 15:5 and Nephi was talking about being overcome because of his afflictions and that he considered his afflictions great above all. I have felt like that these last few months myself. With moving twice in the last two months and then as soon as we move again it seems that everything that can go wrong, did go wrong. My car stopped working, the hot water heater here short circuits over and over, leaky faucets, broken dryer and I have to rewash every piece of clothing and bedding, etc that we own! I had been getting so frustrated and felt very discouraged! Most of these things have been resolved already and I am feeling fine but when I read the last half of verse 5 and Nephi goes on to say that he considers his afflictions to be great above all others because he has watched his people be destroyed, that was able to put things into perspective! I am not going through anything as difficult or dramatic as Nephi although they may feel very hard for me at times. But it did remind me again that all of these problems by themselves aren't that big and that they will all pass. Plus, it reminded me again what a smart, awesome hubby I have!!

So, It came to pass...and not stay!! :)

Another new house

It's official, I am sick of moving! We gave this house our best efforts and it still did not work out. I do not know why but it must not have been meant to be. It's ok, we will be fine. It has been such a hard couple of months dealing with it all but I feel a tremendous amount of relief that we are going to move again. I can't stand to stay in this house much longer. It is making me sick on a daily basis, constant migraines and stomach cramps. Ugg! So ready to move on from this!

I really felt like we were supposed to be here in this house, I felt like everything led us to it. So I am confused and frustrated and even a little angry at times that we gave it everything we had and still nothing we did worked! There were times when I was going on faith alone and still felt like we were supposed to be here. But then there comes a time when you know you are just done and it's time to give up. So, that's where we are. Done.

We were approved for another house tonight and will be signing papers on it tomorrow. It is not as nice as this house but it is clean! No kitty litter box smell! It doesn't have the best floor plan but it is large and affordable. It is right around the corner from the park and keeps my kids in the schools where they want to be. It is also in the Red Mountain ward and we already know a lot of good people in that ward so at least we won't be going in there as strangers. And I will probably be keeping my job as Cubmaster, for better or for worse! lol

So, we move on from here and I have to say I am not looking forward to the work involved with moving but I am looking forward to being in the other house. I am also happy that even during this awful time, when things have been so hard, I know that things must be happening for a reason. Even if I don't understand what those reasons might be. I have enough faith to trust the Lord's plan and keep going.

I will really miss the Preston ward. The people in it were so kind and good to us. We feel like we belong and I will miss that feeling always!!

Happy 12th Birthday, Kaitlyn!

Happy 12th Birthday to a wonderful, sweet girl! I am so glad Kaitlyn is a part of our family, she brings light and laughter, sweetness and thoughtfulness, silliness and goodness to our home. We are a better family because she is in it. She is a good example for her brothers and sister and is becoming a great babysitter. We love you Kate and hope your day is AWESOME!! :D!!

These pictures are Kate on her birthdays starting at age 4 (when we got our first digital camera) the previous years are still in a box somewhere!!). She always has that fabulous smile! 5
6 (Lucky girl got to spend this birthday at Disneyland, purely by coincidence!)

7

8

9-and first year with glasses, I think they make her look cuter and smarter!!

10

11- This is a group shot from last year's pajama themed birthday party. First the smiley face, then the silly face.

Kate and her best friend, Jolie

Happy Birthday to a wonderful daughter, we love you so much!!

I guess it's how you look at things...

I think this may be the lesson I am trying to learn right now. It's how you look at things and whether or not you can find the good in the bad, the happy in the sad, and the peace among the difficulties of the world. This past week has been an emotional one for me. It started off with a week ago Sunday, we were going to look at the house for rent next door. We felt strongly that we wanted to stay in the ward and schools for our children but this area is hard to find homes in that meet our needs. The home next door is not very big but it was in our budget so we were willing to try to make it work. The realtor who showed it to us was very kind and was telling us about another house that she was going to be listing the next morning that was also in our ward/school area. The problem was this house was significantly over our budget so we thanked her but refused. We told her what our budget was and she agreed that it would be difficult to find in this area. She then called me first thing the next morning and told me that the other house she was renting needed work and if we were willing to do it that she would be able to rent it to us for the price we could afford. We went to look at it right away and we agreed almost immediately to the plans. Everything has fallen into place for this house. I know this is where we are supposed to be, however it is so much more difficult than I thought it would be. So much work, stress, frustration and worry! There are really stubborn pet odors. This is my main problem. I worry about getting them out! Other than that, everything else is cosmetic. We will do the landscaping, minor wall patching and trim work and painting. There will be new carpet that I get to pick out (squeal of joy!!) and we don't have to pay for!! But those pet odors are my main concern. The odors are getting a little better already and I have to have faith that we made the right decision and that it will all work out in the end. This home has more than enough room for our family and a pool, when it is finished it will be a really nice place. We have also negotiated a good rental agreement with the option to buy in a few years. Hopefully we have things together enough to do so!

I am trying to look at the bigger picture, the end result will be great. Right now, it's a smelly, dirty job. But if I look at it the right way, I know this is where the Lord wants us. I have a sweet, supportive husband. I have strong, fun children who I can work with and laugh with. I have good friends helping us along the way. I have supportive family who builds me up when I think I am done for. I have a ward who is willing to help and I know I can call and they will come. I am blessed in many ways.

Another area, Jonathan has had it a bit rough in the last couple of days. He had reconstruction surgery on his ACL last week. He is doing really well now. The first couple of days were very tough on him physically and emotionally but he pulled through great. I am thankful that he has good friends to help cheer him up and keep him going. Yesterday was his first day back at school. He was going to use a wheelchair and then decided that it would draw too much attention to himself so he wanted to use the crutches, against better advice. That lasted for one hour. I was quickly back in the car bringing him the wheelchair! After that, he was doing pretty good. At the end of the day, I went to pick him up and his leg was swollen and he was really sore. He wheeled himself up to the passenger door and put his violin case behind the front tire. (you can see where I am going with this, huh). He put his backpack in the car and then climbed in. I assumed he would put the violin in as well. In his mind, he thought he asked me to put it in. I was busy putting the wheelchair in the back of the suburban and figured we were all set so I get in the car and start to back up. The car makes this shuddering and I though my transmission was giving out or something so I pull back forward and it seems fine. I get out of the car to check and when I see the violin case, I could have just dropped right then and there. I did not want to show that to Jonathan. When he saw me pull that case out from under the car his face just crumpled and he turned away in absolute devastation. I will never forget that look. Ever.

I could only think how difficult this past week has been for him and whenever life is hard, he takes refuge in the violin. He loves to play and he makes the most beautiful music. Our home is always filled with music and I was so afraid and horrified that I may have killed the violin! His most beloved thing!

There is a good side of this though, like I said, I guess it's how you look at things. The violin broke at the base of the scroll and it appears that that is the only place it broke. Had the case been placed the other way, it would have been a complete disaster and I would have crushed the body. Jonathan feels like the violin has been protected before, he once had the feeling to move the violin when he had taken it to play in seminary. He had it sitting out of the way but not in its case and had he not moved it, it would have been crushed by a piano seat moments later. And now he feels that it was protected again, so I am going with his feelings on this one. I am grateful that it was not so much worse. It could have been totalled!

I feel as though this is a recurring theme in my life, that I am always walking through difficulties and I must try to find the joy in the journey. It is not always easy but I am trying. Sometimes it is really hard and some days I do not do very well, but I know the Lord leads me and guides me and my family. We are in His hands. With this knowledge, I can survive all things.