Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Teenagers really don't have it easy...

I used to think that teenagers have it pretty good, you know, they usually get most of what they want and get to come home from school and lay around or just unwind or whatever they want to do for the next few hours. Sounds good to me, right? If only it was that easy. After having a conversation with my oldest son, I am really worried for all of my kids. Yesterday was national weed day or something like that. So many of his friends and acquaintances were taking drugs in one form or another. Smoking it or weed laced brownies (really popular with the girls, I guess) and other ways I am not sure I even understand. He was upset to see so many of his baseball team high and so many of his acquaintances were also high. The hardest part was seeing the kids that he felt were "good mormons" high or talking about getting high later. Even high during seminary. Many of these kids were giving my son a really hard time about not participating. One time won't hurt they said. They went so far as to laugh at him and tell him he is an idiot.

He just blew it off the best he could, but he was still upset this morning. He asked me why so many people make Mormons out to be so weird and something that people would make fun of. I told him that Satan wants to destroy anything good and this is one way he goes about that, but that wasn't enough. I wanted to talk to him for a while, but he had to go in order to catch his bus. But this conversation left me shaken. How can I teach my child to be strong and to be a good example when EVERYONE around him at school is telling him how stupid or weird being a good Mormon is? Even other Mormon kids? Some of the kids he thought were strong were so weak. He is hanging out with more of the "popular" kids at this school than at his last school and if this is what it means to be popular, than forget it! Who needs those kind of friends? I would rather him go through high school with no friends than be like these kids.

I used to think there was a lot of peer pressure when I was in school, but it is so much worse now. It's not just drugs and dating and such, just being a Mormon anymore is a cause for ridicule. My son is being told frequently that Joseph Smith is wrong/crazy or whatever and that Mormons believe things that we obviously don't. He will correct these kids but they just tell him that he doesn't want to admit the truth. He knows it is futile to try to change these kids opinion of the church, but he tries anyway.

I am proud of my son, he has already dealt with a lot in his life, and I really hope he is strong enough to stand up for what is right through the rest of his high school years. I tell him that it may feel like things are really hard and that it won't always be this way. High school may feel like forever, but it isn't. It's just 4 really tough years. Stay strong, hold your head high and hang on to your values. Follow the teachings of the Lord and you will come out of this all right.

I think these 4 years will be really hard for him, but I believe he will make it through ok. But how much worse will it be by the time my younger sons enters high school. That's 5 & 10 years from now. Will they be strong enough to stand up for truth? What about my beautiful daughters? I worry about the pressures put on young women even more. How difficult it will be for them to remain virtuous and righteous young women? My daughters are trusting and kind (most of the time) and so sweet. I hope I can teach them and instill in them enough to get them through the crazy teenage years.

Is anyone else worried too or am I overreacting? Give me your thoughts, please. Thanks everyone!! Now, I am gonna go and play with my younger kids and my nephews. We are busting out the playdough, quickly followed by some paint!

7 comments:

Leslie said...

That is really sad. I had never heard of such a day or week.

I know alot of my "friends" mostly mormon drank and slept around, not sure about drugs but wouldnt suprise me. That's why I was pretty much a loner. But most of my "friends" respected me enough not to ask me and or invite me to such parties. So I am extremely grateful to that.

I worry about my kids and hope that they will be able to stand for what is right!! With their non member friends across the street, I am constantly telling them about how bad these things are. Hopefully they will be able to make the right decisions when the time comes. I think most of my kids are stuborn enough that they will!! Although I do worry about Nathan and Jacob!!

Katie said...

Oh my word Michelle! I am sure that I am naive, but I am so surprised that it is that openly offered and talked about at school.
I, like you, tend to worry and dread what my kids will face. And for the same reason as you--my girls a little more than my boys.

AZ Larsens said...

Oh man...I pretty much hated high school and it sounds like it definitely hasn't improved in the last 12 years! I worry about it too and my kids are just starting school.

music lady said...

Today kids are so much more open with all those Awful things and yes I see how our young "Mormon" children are tested more so than ever. It is Satan who is trying to break apart everything that is righteous and good. He is trying so hard to win over more of Heavenly Father's Children than ever before. Peer pressure is awful but keep teaching the children to do what is right. Have some Home Evenings or discussions where they can role play and be prepared for all kinds of adverse situations.
I am the grandmother of so many wonderful kids and I wish they didn't have this pressure but every once in a while I get to say a few words of caution, but you moms are in the thick of it and always stay close to your Heavenly Father and pray for guidance when a child needs you to guide them. Provide activities at home for the kids where they don't have to go other places. Have a home where the friends want to come to your home.

Anonymous said...

It definitely it scary out there! I have no advice because well raising teenagers is tough. Yours will do fine I just know it. It is hard to be ridiculed and made fun of and it might be a few hard years, but he will be respected and many many fabulous years ahead. Most of those other losers will have their best years in high school and having nothing left after that! Great payback!

Kim said...

I finally got to ask Darrin about this on the way home from his track meet yesterday, I had never heard of such a thing! He said kids were talking about it all day, mostly about getting high later. One kids said it was a better day than Christmas. He just told the kids how stupid it was. He was pretty surprised at how bad it was at John's school but said he bets at least half the kids at school do it, crazy! I am just thankful that Darrin is so driven to succeed in life that he knows doing drugs is like throwing your life away. I too am scared for what our kids will have to face, I hope I have done enough to prepare them. We really need to get these 2 boys together-they are good for each other!

Richard said...

My own little Kelsi told me about this day and I thought WHY!!! What is there to gain?

I too worry about my kids. The pressures now are sooo much worse that it was when I was in school. I have tried to teach my kids correctly but peer influences can be persuasive. Parents need to work together on this. It just cant be only one parent. Otherwise it is a loosing battle. Your kids are strong and they have been brought up right. I am very impressed with the way they are and what they represent. Keep up the good work!