Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I am so sick of ...

I have been thinking I need to update my blog and can't think of what to say. So, I don't know! There seems to be constant comings and goings over in this house. We are being pulled in so many directions all the time that sometimes I can't tell up from down. We very nearly went back to working for my dad again, which would probably have been good for the bank account but so bad for almost everything else! So much family drama and nonsense! We decided to have Bryan stay where he is and remain stuck in the never gonna have enough money to survive job, but at least we are semi-sane. I know that it is the right decision, I can't do the being stuck between my husband and father thing again. The stress from never knowing how much money will be coming in everyday takes such a huge toll on me and I don't want to be there again. So we will keep plugging away at the boring, dead-end job that at least offers some stability. I am so sick of this stinking economy and no one being able to get a decent job. I am so sick of my husband being under-employed. I am so sick of being told that I should be grateful that we at least have a job. I know that and I am grateful (so what if I don't sound like it at the moment!). I am sick of wondering if things are ever going to turn around for our family. I am sick of trying to be strong. I am sick of my dreams being on hold, again. I am sick of wondering if I will ever own a home again. I am just sick of all the doom and gloom and sick of the fear that is everywhere. I am just tired of it all! I hope things turn around soon, and not just for us, for our friends, for our immediate and extended family, for our country's economy, for our global economy. It is all connected. I am sick of being strong, but I am still trying. I am not going to stop having faith and trying to be positive. I may break now and then, but I will not stop having hope. One of these days things are bound to start turning around. So, if you are sick of it too, stay strong and if you are breaking, call me and you can break down on my shoulder anytime!

This post is almost too personal, I am going to post it anyway but know that even though it may sound as though I am depressed, I am not. I do not put any blame on anyone for my situation in life and while it may be hard right now, I would choose this life and my family all over again in a heartbeat!

2 comments:

Richard said...

I am with you a thousand percent!!!! This whole economy just bites and then to hear that AIG is giving bonuses. Well just kick me in the butt!! Sorry to dump like that but it TICKS me off to no end. To see you guys go through this crappy circle that never seems to end is enough! I am in awe everyday with the strength that you have in being strong. You are the glue that keeps it together. And then to offer a shoulder to cry on, You are simply incredible.

Thanks for being the good friend that you are and the strong example. There are so many people that look up to you. If I had a million bucks I would share it with you and your family!!! Stay strong and steadfast! We are behind you and support you! We can spare a shoulder too if you need one!!!

Anonymous said...

I am in awe of you too! Isn't it nice to have friendships and we can all be shoulders for each other. Venting is an ok thing and doing on your own blog is especially ok. Keep hanging on and never let go of hope. Hey if Richard does share that million with you do you mine passing a bit of change my way! :>